But not precisely. Collusion is defined as....
"a secret agreement, esp. for fraudulent or treacherous purposes; conspiracy: Some of his employees were acting in collusion to rob him."
Well. Its a weighty word, and not one that i think gets used enough, and as such makes a perfect title for today's topic.... Which is rather a story than anything else. A story about me.
Mommy and Daddy are conservative, right wing, (literally) shot-gun carrying, NRA supporting, ten commandment observing, wildlife hunters.... who fiercely raised myself and my fellow siblings to please the mystic God of Hebrew scripture, to grow tomatoes in the heat of summer, to avoid credit cards and body piercing with the fervor you might devote to avoiding death by house-fire... and to vote republican.
They grow pears in their yard. We have raised chickens, pigs, goats, quail, geese, and once... a faun.
Bucolic no?
To baffle you readers, let me just say, that i have managed to deviate from their plans for me, quite a bit. In some ways to the tune of bad decision making... and in others to some of the most profound changes one can experience in life. My children... I speak of love. and loss.
Oddly enough, the gods decided to gift me to a family, that i shared little but genetics with. I drink art, and breathe music. Even as a child, i thought that emulating beauty and grace were among the highest of callings. I read ferociously, and by the time i was seven, my vocabulary started to scare adults.
Mommy and Daddy were very selective about the avenues that my learning should travel down. But having my own library card, and an ever expanding gift with the English language, it wasn't long before all the writers who had left their dusty dream worlds, sitting out on the shelves of our small public library, began to fill my head with everything. Romance. Fantasy. Heroes. Luxury. Wit. It was all there... and gobs of it.
I grew something. Ambition.
Years passed. I became a skilled pianist. And I had dreams of Carnegie Hall, and the palpable silence that comes after a flawless performance and seconds before the applause.
Much as i was ready to take on new life, i never did realize the impression that my own woodland home would leave on me. All of my life was arranged in neat little rows, and a very carefully constructed solitude lay all over like a blanket. I had become more than used to the surroundings. The quiet churp of crickets and the exact shade of white noise that my rooms oscillating fan painted about my room as i fell to sleep every night, worked together. They worked their way into my bones...
Going to college was hard. Not like the hard you're thinking. Not like studying. Not like work. Hard like reprogramming.
Although Beethoven had taught me how to spin elegance out into the air, and my father taught me how to field dress large mammals, Anne Rice taught me to follow her into dark velvet neverwheres filled with musk and passion, and my mother taught me how to keep tea roses from developing spot; no one had prepared me to talk to other teenagers. Let alone choose companions based on my identity. I couldnt have told you who i was at the time. I hardly knew myself.
I went to school at Bob Jones University. Right now, all two of my followers know everything there is to know about this school, and this story for the most part.... but seeing as blogging is tant-amount to writing to everyone with internet access... I shall elaborate.
Mother and Father liked the school. A whole hellova lot. They went there. They met there. Moms parents went there. They both convinced on some level, that the mystic Hebrew God, still speaks in whispers through the moanings of the hinges on the front gate.
All those musings aside... I wasnt ready for childhood friendships, let alone dorm life at Xavier's School for Religiously Gifted Children.
But go to school i did. Even though home sickness gave me an ulcer, and a plethora of new responsibilities and syllibi gave me thoughts of joining some sort of fictional militia for the socially handicapped.
Survival. Self-preservation instinct. Call it whatever you want. It's what i did. I chose to study piano performance. Half because i thought it might have been the most difficult thing i could have ever done... Half because my piano teacher throughout high-school had poured out all her ideas about creating great music all over me; and i wanted to emulate that. I thought of playing the piano with the same feelings that one might have if they were to share a warm plate of cookies....
It wasnt about prestige, or screaming about being a virtuoso. It was about sharing something that i thought of as beautiful. (as you might remember kids, beautiful things have always been my bread and butter.... )
I threw myself into my studies... I made friends yes, and instinctively managed to befriend every social outcast in the entire school. Because like it or not, i didn't fit in the accepted social paradigms.
Lets see if i can type cast a few of the norms for you all who aren't quite as familiar with the class system at BJU.
Popular Kids:
That about sums-up all of the key popular types. Keep in mind that anyone from some of the lower Cast levels can attempt to boost their station by adding portions of Popular Kids' qualities... but the bones of the type have to be in place for anything worthwhile to occur. Now on to another section in the Cast system... Less popular, but no less important....
Medial Members:
Medial Members types are neither un-popular, nor popular... and their ambition is usually less bright than those that have reached the upper levels of the Cast... but these players are no less important in the game.
Last and least in some peoples' minds is The Lesser Cast. These students, are the 'everyone else' of the Cast system
The Lesser Cast:
OK! well, that about sums it up for the Collusion: Part I. Most of part: I is topography.
Stay tuned as the plot thickens.
Survival. Self-preservation instinct. Call it whatever you want. It's what i did. I chose to study piano performance. Half because i thought it might have been the most difficult thing i could have ever done... Half because my piano teacher throughout high-school had poured out all her ideas about creating great music all over me; and i wanted to emulate that. I thought of playing the piano with the same feelings that one might have if they were to share a warm plate of cookies....
It wasnt about prestige, or screaming about being a virtuoso. It was about sharing something that i thought of as beautiful. (as you might remember kids, beautiful things have always been my bread and butter.... )
I threw myself into my studies... I made friends yes, and instinctively managed to befriend every social outcast in the entire school. Because like it or not, i didn't fit in the accepted social paradigms.
Lets see if i can type cast a few of the norms for you all who aren't quite as familiar with the class system at BJU.
Popular Kids:
- The Handsome Soccer Player: This is perhaps a type that i least identified with. Because i am neither broadly accepted as handsome, nor am i a soccer player. hallmarks of the type are as follows.... : Broad foreheads, complete acceptance into one of many of the soccer teams ruled by a long dynasty of alpha males, most likely studies one of the sciences that involve using a calculator, dating a girl thats atleast a 7 or higher on a scale from 1-10, broadly follows the rules of the Almighty Handbook, likely has some obvious vice that everyone admires him more for, due to his ability to avoid punishment over.
- Cheer Leaders: yes i know... you didnt think BJU had these too. Surprise! These girls know what they're after. Perfection. Cheerleaders date the soccer players, or others who walk just as blamelessly in the light of popularity. They go to the gym 4 times a week. They major in something banal like.... oh idunno.... grocery shopping, and they never miss a chance to try and slut their way through the dress code. Although this is type i dont mind... it wasnt one that i necessarily gravitated towards.... Popular Kids do not make friends with anyone below their station in the cast. Rules are rules. Cheerleaders are ambitious, flighty, glittery creatures. They arent paying their own school bill because they are not employed... and their parents dont think they're 'ready for that just yet...' Most likely they all have strained relationships with their fathers.
- Wealthy Townies: Money talks folks... and it doesn't speak any less loudly inside these hallowed halls than it does anywhere else. Wealthy Townies are marked by the majority of their time being spent in their comfortable suburban dwellings. Dad's in insurance. Mom's in marketing. Everyone is busy... and no one has time to follow the Almighty Handbook. Wealthy Townies make friends easily by providing transport, lessening the sense of isolation from the rest of the public, and providing easy access to off-campus drinking; forbidden movie theaters, or sex. No one cares what major the Wealthy Townie has chosen.
That about sums-up all of the key popular types. Keep in mind that anyone from some of the lower Cast levels can attempt to boost their station by adding portions of Popular Kids' qualities... but the bones of the type have to be in place for anything worthwhile to occur. Now on to another section in the Cast system... Less popular, but no less important....
Medial Members:
Medial Members types are neither un-popular, nor popular... and their ambition is usually less bright than those that have reached the upper levels of the Cast... but these players are no less important in the game.
- Joe Political Science: more or less, this is the back bone of the system. this type can be employed by the school, or off campus at the mall or elsewhere. The hardly know what they want from their University experience. The listen to bands like, The Fray, Five Iron Frenzy, and The Shins.... ok ok. and occasionally a little My Chemical Romance. Their dating life is un-stable. They take part in the architecture of 'Societies' (which are BJU's fraternities. but without the booze, violent hazing, or paid membership.{you may be wondering why societies exist.... and i have been mystified by this concept for years.}).
- Jane Doe Groupie: One of the largest portions of the Cast system, this group carries the largest membership. These girls are from middle America, are usually struggling to free themselves from their oh so painful religious indoctrinations, they are all 5's and 6's, and they are all searching for "THE ONE" true love of their life... to help them paint over their many insecurities. Jane Doe Groupies are the less than obvious girls... with less than obvious goals, less than obvious fashion sense, and almost no defined personality. She spends loads of her time procrastinating against her less than challenging academic requirements, and gym attendance; she travels with others like her in groups of two's and three's, and she is almost never alone.
Last and least in some peoples' minds is The Lesser Cast. These students, are the 'everyone else' of the Cast system
The Lesser Cast:
- Deep Sciences: yet again, another broad level of the Cast... This group is populated by male and female students of academic bent. Their majors take up gobs and gobs of their time. Their dorm rooms are usually thoroughly lined with layers and layers of everything they need to stay comfortable alone. They have very little concern for fashion, social networking, romantic involvement, or popularity. Stable types that have been galvanized by some horrific event during high school, and have developed a thick layer of clinical logic to protect deep rooted but fragile emotional cores.
- Seriously Serious Musician: Almost like a subset of the Deep Sciences, they earn their own level in the Cast system. As their title indicates they spend 78 percent of their time on their academic exploits. Different from the Deep Sciences; this type was sequestered and nurtured throughout their high-school experience. They are not involved with Fraternity/Society system, as they have no time to be. They have a limited number of friends. Make jokes about the brothers Bach and dress idiosyncratically. Like all of the members of the Lesser Cast, they have little ambition for popularity as most of their energy is spent preparing for recitals and remembering to eat.
- Sexually Ambiguous Art Majors:As their title indicates... this subset in the system create things... but never explain themselves exactly. They all have distinctive styles of dress that are constantly in direct opposition to the norms set out in the Almighty Handbook. Brutal childhood memories fuel their desire to communicate in abstraction. Parental involvement forced their enrollment, but did not dampen their ambition. There are atleast 3 Sexually Ambiguous Art Majors in each of these sham fraternities/societies... as someone needs to create unifying t-shirt designs. This group is characterized by pioneering social self-sufficiency and decadent interior mind-worlds. Often they provide quality friendship material... as they hate both the Handsome Soccer Player and Mr. Right's. Sexually Ambiguous Art Majors are smart, funny, and most likely poor.
- Mr. Right. (or Miss): the last and most despised of all the levels of the Cast, Mr. Right is also one of the most fascinating. Members of the type have long been incubated in a thick gravy of religious fervor. Their parents are models of good christian behavior. They come from one of 17ish children who will all attend BJU before the end of the century, and their passion is the Almighty Handbook. Because of strictures of their childhoods the expansive rules of the Almighty Handbook are the most perfect and logical conclusion of a well planned adolescence. Mr. Right has a painfully deep desire to please the mystic Hebrew god... and will 'God willing' do so... right down to the very letter of the Almighty Handbook. Mr. Right's are everywhere, (much like the be-suited emissaries of evil in 'the matrix' films) and they are always watching. Mr. Right's take it as one of their implied duties to prevent breaking any of the rules from the Almighty Handbook. Do not befriend Mr. Right's.
OK! well, that about sums it up for the Collusion: Part I. Most of part: I is topography.
Stay tuned as the plot thickens.
