Today we take a break from the Collusion narrative to express and explain an on-going project from the folks at PlanetCupcake. Seems like most everyone these days is looking for an LTR. (Long Term Relationship) And if they aren't they're lying. Everyone wants a 'someone.' Someone to buy them flowers, or go out for a long drive on a warm breezy Sunday, and/or have passionate make-out sessions with during sloppy romantic movies. Humans for better or for worse are communal creatures of obvious patterns. Those that establish these long term romantic relationships live healthier, happier lives... Gain financial stability more quickly and statistically foster suitable social conditions to raise off-spring, thus promoting the genetic stability of the species.
These claims however reasoned and insightful have no direct link to scientific study (such should be stated...) but are the firm and rational beliefs of PlanetCupcake, and as such can be accepted as fact.
PlanetCupcake has organized a set of observations and principles recognized as common in healthy romantic relationships, and entitled these observations 'Butch Theory.' The theory can be summarized by these three factual statements.
>1. Each human personality is a combination of feminine and masculine traits. (That is to say, traits that are typically associated with one gender or another regardless of the actual sex of the individual.)
>2. Depending on the ratio of feminine/masculine traits that are incorporated in a single personality each person can be represented on a scale running from the number '0' through the number '10'. ( The number '0' representing the absence of feminine traits, and the number '10' representing the absence of masculine traits.)
>3. Long term romantic relationships are most often successful when the addition of each partners representative number equals the number '10'. (i.e. sixes should mate with fours... or sevens with threes... etc. etc.)
'Butch Theory' is not only useful when planning your next romantic acquisition... but you can create a fun game with your friends, where you assign numbers to un-suspecting acquaintances and then giggle like catholic school girls at their befuddlement. Also, you could offer un-solicited advice to your friends about why their relationship is so disappointing by saying something like... "oh, well... you know it's probably going to end in domestic violence... because he's a zero. You should be looking for a three baby.... (pouts knowingly with a sad nod)"
Another option would be to re-name all of your co-workers using numbers from the scale, and then make spiteful commentary about how poorly they fit their gender role. I have already employed this third option, and have only once had to run away as a '0' tried to stab me.
PlanetCupcake would like to wish all of you the best Wednesday you've yet experienced. Our next episode returns to the Collusion saga, and we learn that some of Josh's friends shouldn't be trusted... and that there's danger afoot. haha! Goodbye for now my little '10's (you know who you are....) and as always.... Make someone's day. Give them a Cupcake.
