What is the thing that hurt you first… and hurt you the deepest? I know right? Why the hell would I ask that? It’s none of my business really. But that’s the thing that I wanted to know. I was thinking the other day… how profoundly the things that had hurt me had changed me. Changed me for the better. And that should be the most powerful arbiter of change.
I was so hot you could taste it all the way back in your soft pallet. We had finished building the new place. Rough sawn cedar all the way around. We did it ourselves. As I think back on it… we almost always were building something. Repairing something. I know how to used just about everything in Home Depot. Neumatic nail gun. Roofing nailer. Hammer. Chop saw. A lot of people from where Im from are that way though. We build. We are the dreamers of dreams.
18 feet sheets of corrugated rust resistant aluminized tin. If you can shoot through that stuff, then you deserve to get where your’e going. My brother was helping too. He and I have about the same amount of differences as a seal and a sealion. The frame and the wall were in place on the building. Ever so slight breezes were making eddys and playing games with the saw dust that we hadn’t managed to sweep up. The screw gun made the most determined noises as it pushed the angry little screws through the metal and into the heavy beams. Ererererer. Eeeeek. Ap ap. Repeat. We’d gotten through with the side closest to the pine trees, and the sun was making it’s way down the sky. It was cooling a bit. Two more to go. Almost done. And good too. Im getting hungry. The next sheet of metal slipped a hair while I was putting it in position. Oww. Way oww!
I had to get down of off that roof quick. I’d cut a fleshy smile on the finger print area of my ring finger. I filled a towel up with blood and taped it up. Such a curious little scar it is. And so odd that it should be right there. I took it as a karmic message. If I ever slide a ring on the finger… it’s going to have to be fore someone who Im sure can hurt me exponentially more than a piece of corrugated tin.
Interested? I’m interesting.
